The Dreaded Dick Pic DM

Lets talk about the dick pic DM.. Fellas unless we ask for it, we truly DO NOT WANT IT! Ain't nothin cute about that shit!!! This fool really thought that a pic of his toddler penis was supposed to be an ice breaker!!!!

I don't even really have much more to say... These messages said it all!!!! LOL

#ThatPart

Chronicle note..

With this being the chronicles... I feel compelled to say that I don't want this to just be the bad. I wanna know about the "I found my soulmate!" as well as the nightmares.. I know for a fact that everything isn't all bad. I was chatting with someone today that made me laugh. They all def aren't creeps, the creeps just make it more interesting! Also fellas I want your stories too!! I know that there are female creeps, hell I know a couple personally!! LOL.. Objective here is to just talk about something we are all familiar with!!!

Don't need your wife in my Box!!!

Now the other side of havin a box that's constantly poppin is havin these fools wives, girlfriends, slides, jump offs, side chicks, wives adjacent or whatever they callin themselves these days in there... This story is comin from the book of Instagram... Now see I have the kind of personality that pretty much vibes with anybody.. I have male friends with wives and I'm cool with both.. I'm not interested in having anybody else man! I want my own! So with that being said, lemme tell y'all this story here... One day I was scrolling through IG and I see a pic of my homie that I used to call Big Sexy... He was one of those dudes with a huge personality like me so we were like instant friends.. He had never come at me sideways. Anyway back to the pic! It was super dope! So I commented something like "Do that Big Sexy" or something of that nature... Few hours later I'm getting notifications from the Mrs. basically telling me he's taken (which I already knew) 😒 and that I'm disrespectful! Then to top off the bullshittery, he had the nerve to co-sign the shit like I ain't been callin his ass Big Sexy!!! Now I don't know who the hell he thought I was but I went on ahead and reminded him!!!

One thing I can't stand is for someone to think they gonna scold me in public! Miss lady, miss girl, really thought she was comin for me, what she should've done was scrolled a little deeper into my page... I had a few typos but I was hype! Oh and we all have that friend who jumps straight to it when she peep trouble!!!  keep readin!

Oh now you wanna talk 😂... lil while ago you and ya husband thought you were givin me a virtual whoopin!!! Slow down, I keeps receipts! Keep readin!!! LOL

And the shut down! Girl bye! They both tried me like a free sample! She let all her insecurities show... As I'm typing this I feel sad for her tho, because clearly he has given her plenty reason to have pause... She just happened to come for the wrong one!!! NEEEXXXXTTTT!

The Pastor..

These days nothing shocks me... this trip down memory lane though has me remembering just how shocked I was when this message surfaced in my box.. Lemme tell y'all about the time the pastor trolled my DM... I'm beginning to wonder the nerve of some men. You're supposed to be a man of the cloth, a married man of the cloth no less but you manage to find yourself up in my box talkin bout "Let's be friends" 😕 Often times I really be wanting to send these messages to some of these wives asking them to neuter and leash their hounds, cause I'm sure they have zero damn clue what their precious husbands are up too... or maybe they do and just don't care... This isn't the first time a pastor or "Man of God" has been inappropriate. I actually think the shit is rather sad.... 

How crazy is it that even after calling his ass on his nonsense, he was still tryna justify himself.. I personally think that the mention of his wife made him shit a little!!! LOL.. What he can do though is go👏 straight👏 to 👏hell👏 in a hand basket👏wearing gasoline drawls👏on a razor blade slip n slide!!!

Annoyingly Persistant

I got a real character in the DM the other day!! It seems to always start with a hi or hey beautiful, or something of that nature... This guy was weird to me cause when I stopped responding he started sending requests with a different name but the same pic... I'm guessing that maybe he thought I was blind or something! LOL

He only stopped in this name, shortly after I was getting the Hi message all over again! SMH... These dudes so crazy!!!

Snapchat

   So with snapchat you get a whole different form of a creep.. well maybe not but it's different because when someone screenshots you you get a notification! So one day I was lookin at who was lookin at me and I peeped that someone had screenshot one of my pix.. so I slid in the DM and asked " Why you screenshot my shit?" The response was, " I did it by accident, new phone." 😒 WTF? How in the name of all things holy can you accidentally screenshot anything?? Does anyone have the answer to this? It takes 2 whole entire buttons to screenshot any damn thing sooooooooooo try again!!! At any rate, he babbled a few more things that I felt insulted my intelligence so I just simply stopped responding! Now that I'm thinkin about it, I should've screenshot the convo! Dang it!  I'll get'em next time!!!

My what??

So this next one was really interesting... I'm always amused by the ones who claim to be nice guys but as soon as you say no thank you they show you who they really are!!

I do believe I'm more offended by the Trumplike part than the cunt part! LMAO! Fellas some of ya'll need a how to approach a lady 101 class. I feel that you should be able to tell right away when we aren't interested, so just move ya ass around!!! We are allowed to not be interested...  Just because you say hello, I'm not obligated to disclose my life to you! Grow up!!

Don't and I repeat DO NOT call me on Facebook!!!

Now of course this shit only happens when I get up to go pee.. my phone starts ringing, I looks at my watch and I see it's a damn name I don't recognize and I says to myself.... is some fool calling me on Facebook??? I get back to my phone and guess what? Some fool done called me on Facebook!!! LOL

Ima need for Frankie to cut the shit!!!! 

Up Next!

Hmmmmmmm, I'm sitting here thinking about who should be next.. Then I had to think, has my long ass ever been thirsty up in anybody box??? I'm sure I have cause social media be havin some FINE ASS BROTHAS!! But lets be clear, I've never kept tryna catch something that wasn't tryna get caught!!! I just figured I'd say all this before some butt hurt ass negro try n ack like he wanna try it!!!

He came for me and I don't even follow him!

    So in keeping up the momentum lemme tell ya'll about 1 that happened recently... as usual I'm minding my own BI and I get the good ole notification alerting me to my inbox.. some days I just roll my eyes and other days I'm super curious, on this day curiosity won me over and I clicked on the message.... this dude was totally outta pocket, I think I wanna call him Mr. Fuckboy...

   Now what part of the game is it that a "Man" talks to you like that??? I wanted to call him something else but I'm tryna get right, ya dig!? Oh and in case you wondering what it is he wanted me to do for him... he blocked me! And please believe I didn't check his profile, I peeped the block cause I couldn't respond! I'm sitting here thinking that I need to be more specific in my speak... there are she's in my box too!!! You just clutched ya pearls didn't cha?? LMAO!

The DM...

      I've been having trouble deciding where to start so of course I had to go through them all... The one that screamed let me be the first are messages coming from Mr. "I am Humble"...  I don't think in all of my 38 years I've encountered a man so full of himself, LOL. And to be completely honest he isn't that good looking if you ask me, but ya'll didn't ask me that so lemme just share the shenanigans with you... All of this started when I was added to 1 of those freak nasty groups on Facebook. Of course I expected to have men in my box but this dude took the cake!

          Now I know halfway through this you were prolly wondering either, "why is she still talkin to this fool?" or "Is is he serious?" Thing is it became amusing so in my twisted mind I figured I'd see just how far this would go exactly. And yes this fool was very serious! Then when I would start telling my friends about this stuff they didn't believe me! I can't make this shit up!! Nut shit like this has become an almost daily occurrence... and from that The Chronicles were born!!! I hope you enjoy the shenanigans of my inbox as much as I do and PLEASE share yours with me so I can post them!!